Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas is coming! I leave tomorrow for my beach, palm tree Christmas! Whooo Hoooo! I'm so excited to see my family and bask in the comfort it is to be home. One more event tonight, a YoungLife Christmas party. I am hoping that it is a really good time as we enjoy the movie Elf, go Christmas Caroling and eat yummy cookies! Hooray!

Today Jen, a gal in my office had her first baby, a son named Cayden Vincent, she had him at 1:30pm this afternoon and what is phenomenal to me is that at that exact time the rest of the staff were in the Nativity movie watching Mary give birth to her son, Jesus. I am so excited for Jen and Cayden and pumped to meet him! And even more phenomenal was the portral of the Nativity in this movie. I guess I have always heard the story and read the story, but not seen it in such a way that I got lost in it. I came to the realization that Jesus was just a baby... Nothing more. He caused Mary pain in childbirth and cried as he exited the womb. He suckled to his mother and fussed when he was uncomfortable. I guess that is something that I should grasp, but I never did. It was so interested to watch the shepherds and wise men be in awe of this baby that looked no different from any other baby. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when the shepherd leans over to touch baby Jesus, and then hesitates, but Mary says, "He is a gift for ALL people" and the lowly, poor, socially inept shepherd reaches out to touch him. Beautiful. That is us, you know, lowly, poor, socially unable to impress our Savior, and yet, he is here this Christmas and all Christmases for ALL of us.

What would it look like this Christmas to reach out and touch him? To reach to the baby and see his skin, his flesh and know that deep inside he is also deity. I hope I can figure this out in the next 7 days, I hope I can reach out and touch the baby Jesus.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

In Humility There is Hope

SURPRISE. An answer, in part, to the request I threw out in the last e-mail for either something big to happen or for me to understand more fully how much the little surprises matter.

Still no BIG surprise. But at Andy's house today, we took 20 minutes to read devotional books and come back to our 5 faithful staff people and share what we learn. I took a devotional that was broken up by scripture passage, and I opened up to a passage from Luke.... Being that it is the holiday season, it was very fitting and I began to read a beautiful passage. I wish I could write out the passage, but I don't have the book, but it talked about how humble Christ's birth was. It talked about the stable, the smell of dung and the sweet breath of the animals. It talked about the virgin who was so full of humility that she was willing to accept her pregnancy as a gift. It talked about going from being the all-powerful, awe-inspiring God of the universe to a baby, a simple, reliant, helpless baby. What humble circumstances.

But the fact that God would choose to do this only means that he is beyond willing to work thru humble circumstances. He is willing to bring hope to even the lowliest of folks. Like me, a sinner, he brings hope to even me. In a world so hopeless, there is HOPE. In a world of few BIG surprises, there are surprises. So, even though I would still love to see a BIG surprise come in my life during this experiment, I also have to focus on the fact that Christ's birth didn't even seem like a BIG thing at the time (it was humble), but yet.... IT WAS.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Hope and hopelessness

It has been a long time since I have posted anything. I'd like to say I have had tons of surprises and just failed to account for them due to busyness, but that just isn't so. There are obviously surprises in everyday things, but nothing huge has been happening. Let me account for a few of the "everyday" surprises.

First of all, we had some awesome God-filled programs for Young Life. I was really blown away by how awesome WyldLife was on Friday. So many leaders and such great execution, not to mention fun, awesome kids who I think had a great time. This was really an answer to prayer, as I still get anxious before I execute an event.

Next, a really fun YoungLife event... Laser tag with some really awesome students! Also, prayers answered when one of the leaders brought some friends, so we had an ample amount of leaders! Wow-God is awesome, that we can have such a great time and know it is all because he wants us to. It was really our first MA alone YL event and we just had a blast and I was so blown away by how little I should have worried about the execution of it, because it all ended up okay.

So much to be grateful for and so many great God surprises. I have received some beautiful Christmas gifts so far this year and just feel people loving on me in so many different ways and that is such a gift from God. My meal group met tonight and I am so thankful for their friendship and the great conversations we have, filled with grace.

I am not unsatisfied with the perspective of life this experiment has given me. I love seeing the world thru the lens of God surprising us in all the little things in life. But, in the midst of this experiment, I would love to experience one BIG surprise. I don't know what that would look like, and in fact perhaps that is not what I am supposed to experience thru this. Perhaps, I am supposed to learn that life is filled with small blessings, so numerous that they create the BIG surprises. But how fun would it be to have a surprise that outweighs the rest, something truly extraordinary, a story that makes people want to believe in hope and power. I think hope is something that the world is in desperate need of... sometimes it seems almost extinct.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with hopelessness; and desire so bad to have something to hold on to that insinuates hope. Some friends and I were at the Mall of America this weekend and we were looking thru the many requests on the Giving Tree, for the families that are not able to get Christmas gifts. The gifts ranged from long underwear for an 80 year old man to a hot potato game for an 8 year old. Some asked for necessities like gift cards to grocery stores and others asked for something they wanted like the request for a new watch. It really was overwhelming to look thru the 100s of requests and think that we can only
afford to help one or two people out. Plus, so many people were just walking by, and who knows their story, perhaps they are doing all they can, or have already donated elsewhere. But as my 3 friends and I searched the mall up and down for a beautiful maternity outfit for Shondra, the 21 year old mother-to-be that we have never met, but that I haven't stopped praying for since, I was overcome by the sense that that wasn't enough.

I wonder if Shondra will receive her gift this holiday and count that as the BIG surprise that gives her hope. Or again, perhaps it is in the little God surprises that she will find hope. To see God working thru WyldLife and Young Life and to know that this is not our home, that too could be hope. Maybe a BIG surprise is too much to ask, and that is okay, but I also think about how big God is... What amazing things he is capable of... Perhaps one of those BIG surprises will come my way.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Number One Fear in America

The number one fear in America, is of-course Public Speaking. I am not exempt from this fear and today, my fear was tested as I was asked to speak in the middle school chapel in front of 300 unimpressed middle-schoolers. I was so nervous. You would think that middle schoolers wouldn't be intimidating, but it must be something about the mob-mentality that made my knees shake. I had prepped a nice, full script about trusting God and I was as ready as I was going to get.

The talk I gave started with an illustration of a tightrope walker asking an on-looker to join him on the rope and the on-looker refusing to join him even though he believed that the tightrope walker was the best in the world. Then I transitioned into the story of Peter walking on water, believing at first that it possible, then doubting and falling, I finished off telling my story of choosing the YoungLife job and how I had to risk it and trust God. I hope you can see the pattern. I think it went over well and I got some really positive feedback!

Needless to say, it was a bit of irony that I was speaking on trusting God, when that trust is what I was lacking that installed the fear in me that caused me to question my ability to speak in front of the masses. As I drove to MA, I prayed and gave the talk to God... Really, I can't do public speaking, not on my own... But in 2 Corinthians it says something about boasting in your weaknesses, because that is when Christ is strong. I really saw this promise lived out today. I was surprised by God's ability to work thru the things that I am not good at. Knowing that with my ability alone, I could not have gotten up and spoke and succeeded; made me super excited, because I knew God was active and alive thru me. I think I'd even do it again... (note the word, 'think')!

So, although public speaking is a fear of mine, today I looked it in the face... or maybe more so, God looked it in the face for me and my words flowed and my transitions stuck and my knees stopped knocking and I did it... WE did it.

Now on to the club talk for WyldLife tomorrow night... Phew...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Red-Eye

So, my biggest surprise of the day is the fact that you can actually survive 48 hours without sleeping. There is actually a lot of substance in that. I remember some good times at Bluewater Covenant Bible Camp, where we (the counselors) would meet for our 10am staff meeting and all of us would look like hell, bags under our eyes, jaws hanging slightly open due to lack of muscle control and hair unruly from sleeping (or not sleeping) in a room of 8 fifth graders. Needless to say, when kids spend a week at camp and it is their only week there, so you want to make it unforgettable, so you put in 100%, but you've been putting in 100% all summer, so really you only have about 11% left, that is when we ended up in the beach house in our unresponsive state. That state did last the whole meeting, we would pray and drink 3 Mountain Dews (caffeine, yum) and walk out that door with 110% energy. It was truly amazing.

You may think, oh-it's the Mountain Dew, but no, it isn't... It is God, as it always is. When we ask we receive and that includes energy, so at camp, when we had nothing left, he was everything and I am again blown away by his ability to be our strength in our weakness and give us the things we think we don't have. Today, I didn't need as much energy as I required at Bluewater, but I did need to press thru, as i am speaking in front of the middle school tomorrow, so I had a lot of prep to get thru. And God pulled thru. It is 8:15pm and I have pressed thru after the 3 hour red-eye flight that had me leave Seattle at 1am and arrive in Msp at 6am (home by 7:30am).

So, my advice, take the red eye. Especially if you have something you need to do the next day. Working on half empty is interesting, but God always gives us what we need.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Snow

Not exactly a "God" surprise, but a surprise for my 1 hour of being awake so far today, snow.

Now, I have lived in Grand Forks for four years and now in Minneapolis for almost two year and snow is not something I am afraid of, but I have just learned that a small snow storm (about 6 inches) causes the entire city of Seattle to shut down. What? It is true. I have been in Seattle for 4 days and one day we tried to drive up to Crystal Mountain to go snowboarding and alas, we were stopped with all the other cars and told we had to put chains on, but there wasn't even snow on the street, so we would have ruined the chains and had to turn around concurred by the weather.

Now, yesterday, I spent an hour in a car between two blocks, because once it starts snowing in Seattle, people begin to freak out. Drivers because crazed, streets become hilly-ice rinks, and cars because spinning bodies of danger. There is no plan, the streets do not get salted, the roads do not get plowed, people just don't go to work and the TV is overtaken with "emergency reports" about the horrendous weather.

There are people who left work last night and still at 9:30am haven't arrived home because they gave up on the highway.

I'm telling you it is insane! The city is shut down...and I am just laughing!

God is good, none-the-less, even though plans are re-adjusted, without driving capabilities, sitting in with your best friend and her husband is just as fun as snowboarding and the experience will always be something to remember.

Friday, November 24, 2006

In Seattle

I think best friends are surprises in themselves. I mean, the world is pretty big and what are the chances that of all the places you could be and all the choices you make to get you where you are, that you will find one or more people who you click with perfectly, feel like your souls are kindred and just enjoy spending time with. It may sound simple, but if you really sit down to wrap your mind around it, it is quite complex.

I was thinking about that today as I sat in the car with one of my best friends, Jen. Sometimes I don't know why I chose UND for school or what inspired me to join Delta Gamma... All these choices I made led me to where I am. I was thinking about how I desire to be married and perhaps my husband was at another school and if I hadn't gone to UND I would have met him. Would I have chosen that path, knowing those details? NEVER! My girlfriends are more valuable to me than diamonds and emeralds. I love the life I have lived and the people I have met, boys can come later. The choices I made to take me to UND and to join DG and to latch onto the people I have, my friends, were the right choices. I remember that as Jen lists off her ideas for stuff to do while I'm out here and I listen, thinking to myself... She knows me so well, it is exactly what I would want to do! Or as we are napping together on the couch after 6 hours of shopping, prepping for 3 more! :) I couldn't ask for a better friend, someone that knows you inside-out, accepts you and affirms you in who you are and someone who you are comfortable enough with to snuggle under a lacy blanket while National Lampoon's Christmas vacation plays and just laugh. That is the best.

So, I am not only surprised, but floored by the friends God has given me. It has been two days since I added anything and there have been lots of little surprises. A safe flight to Seattle; a delicious Thanksgiving dinner at the Vacanti's; a great episode of Grey's Anatomy :); an amazing day of shopping; good friends; and so many more blessings. God surprises me by reminding me of the past, and how truly awesome it was. He reminds me of the friends I made and the blessing it is to have made them. He surprises me in that I truly feared that the dear friendships I had at college would dissolve over time, but they haven't, they are only stronger and the times we have together now are more exciting because they are in new towns and new circumstances. The surprises and changes are what make life interesting and exciting and in this context adds some real spice to some already awesome friendship.

In other news, Seattle is beautiful. It is SO green! The evergreens really cause the earth to look alive and vibrant. It has rained 50% of my time here, which is pretty good (in other-words, it rained one day and didn't the next), but of course I love rain and look forward to some more rain (as long as it heats up a bit) Brrrr. It is definitely the warmth of both Vacanti families that I have been able to spend time with the past two days that has caused my vacation to be so lovely so far. I am excited for the rest of the trip! :)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Day Two

Isn't it surprise enough that I am still truckin' it at 1am? I feel like I haven't slept in weeks, back to back camps and a lot of work stuff, not to mention a little social stuff here an there, I'll just say I have been really busy!

I don't think I ever mentioned how this blogging came about... So, two days ago, I sat in the room of a 70's style house chillin' with high schoolers from Breck and Minnehaha and Katie Pretzle, a Breck leader was speaking and her talk was a challenge to the students to ask God to surprise them for 30 days and see what He does. I thought 'How cool is that' and spent the grueling time figuring out how to blog and began this journey. So, that gives you some context...

My surprise for today, you ask. Oh-my. I am so blessed! In the two days I have been doing this EVERYTHING seems like a God-surprise.

The weather today, was just lovely! I don't know if it ever got to 60, but it was projected to and that in itself is a miracle at the end of November in chilly Minnesota. But it is just so amazing to put on a light blazer and breathe in air that doesn't sting your nose. I met someone downtown today for lunch and I am just madly in love with the Minneapolis sky-line. So, here I am, no jacket, walking around Minneapolis (before the meeting), just smiling, appreciating, basking in the beauty of the city and soaking up the last air molecules of fall. Heavenly.

That lunch meeting was quite a surprise in itself. I sat down and had lunch with someone who has done YoungLife in the past, quite successfully and not only did he give amazing advice and guidance to me, he was incredibly complimentary and encouraging; all things I have been praying for in the context of my ministry. Another answer to prayer; another example of God pulling through.

I am also surprised that I am all packed and ready to head to Seattle tomorrow and it is only 1am. I got a lot done today; yay for productivity!

I am so excited for Seattle. I am so excited to spend time with my dear friend Jen Jen! I am so excited for snowboarding and adventures in the vineyards of Washington and voyages to the San Juan islands. I am so excited. And amidst it all, I am most excited for God to surprise me. As I travel, as I spend time with friends and as I experience new and exciting new adventures, I am excited for God to be in them and to be active. Surprise me God... 5 days in Seattle--Here I come.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Let the surprises begin

Day one of the surprises. My awareness of God's active involvement in life has increased significantly. I feel like I have a radar for it, due to this experiment. Today projected to be no different from any day. I had three coffees set up, one lunch, dinner and a fika. Surprises are easy to see when you're actively engaging in each days potential. My prayers are many lately; for many different things. A lot of those prayers were answered today, and although it isn't a miracle as amazing as Jesus healing lepers or bringing a dead man to life; these miracles have their own charm.

I met with two people that were vital in an answer to prayer for guidance and affirmation in my position with YoungLife. One of these people I met for the first time: a woman, in her twenties who has been working for YoungLife for, I believe, six years . Her wisdom was not only helpful but inspiring. The other, a friend and co-worker who really tactically answered this prayer with ideas and feedback. I left the two coffee's feeling up-lifted and un-burdened. I was pleasantly surprised by God's answer to this prayer.

A second answer to prayer came repeatedly to me over the different meetings and gatherings. My prayer to find good friends in the Cities (something I have been praying for quite some time) was answered (again). I think this prayer has been answered many times, but for once I am able to document and hence really feel God alive in answering it, because I am aware of it. First the coffee with the gal in her twenties, I really thought, wow, this gal is awesome and I not only want to learn from her wisdom, but also, I hope there can be a friendship there. Second, the co-worker, a friend--we both acknowledged that even in my 6 weeks on staff, there is already a friendship there. How cool is that? Thirdly, I met with my Meal Group from the Upper Room (our church small group) and as always, was blessed by each of their lives and by each of them personally. We had great conversation about where each of us are in life. We told the good and the bad and basked in the unconditional love of a body of people. God really went over-the-top when he brought this group together... We call ourselves the "poster-child for Meal Groups" and though it is a bit self-consumed, it is just to say, we really get along, trust and have developed deep friendships from the experience. Finally, the rekindling of friendships of the past. Friends of old are always so precious, and tonight at a Fika (Swedish for a coffee get together) I was able to connect with two of my dear friends from Bluewater (Bible Camp) as well as some mutual friends. When I asked God to build a body of friends and support around me here in Minneapolis, as always, He did not deny me of that. I have been so blessed by the people I know here and this is definitely a surprise, in that at one point a year ago, I felt pretty dim about only having a few friends. God truly is good and again, I was pleasantly surprised.

So, my two great surprises of the day, both answers to prayer, one for guidance the other for friendship. I would have never guessed the way these prayers would be answered, but I love watching the story play out as I see God's hand. I am so excited to see what kind of surprises lay in store for tomorrow...

A Relentless Pursuit

The question was posed: What would happen, if for 30 days we woke up and asked God to surprise us?

"Surprise me, God."

"You job is the RELENTLESS PURSUIT of who God has made you to be." -Rob Bell