Hope and hopelessness

It has been a long time since I have posted anything. I'd like to say I have had tons of surprises and just failed to account for them due to busyness, but that just isn't so. There are obviously surprises in everyday things, but nothing huge has been happening. Let me account for a few of the "everyday" surprises.

First of all, we had some awesome God-filled programs for Young Life. I was really blown away by how awesome WyldLife was on Friday. So many leaders and such great execution, not to mention fun, awesome kids who I think had a great time. This was really an answer to prayer, as I still get anxious before I execute an event.

Next, a really fun YoungLife event... Laser tag with some really awesome students! Also, prayers answered when one of the leaders brought some friends, so we had an ample amount of leaders! Wow-God is awesome, that we can have such a great time and know it is all because he wants us to. It was really our first MA alone YL event and we just had a blast and I was so blown away by how little I should have worried about the execution of it, because it all ended up okay.

So much to be grateful for and so many great God surprises. I have received some beautiful Christmas gifts so far this year and just feel people loving on me in so many different ways and that is such a gift from God. My meal group met tonight and I am so thankful for their friendship and the great conversations we have, filled with grace.

I am not unsatisfied with the perspective of life this experiment has given me. I love seeing the world thru the lens of God surprising us in all the little things in life. But, in the midst of this experiment, I would love to experience one BIG surprise. I don't know what that would look like, and in fact perhaps that is not what I am supposed to experience thru this. Perhaps, I am supposed to learn that life is filled with small blessings, so numerous that they create the BIG surprises. But how fun would it be to have a surprise that outweighs the rest, something truly extraordinary, a story that makes people want to believe in hope and power. I think hope is something that the world is in desperate need of... sometimes it seems almost extinct.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with hopelessness; and desire so bad to have something to hold on to that insinuates hope. Some friends and I were at the Mall of America this weekend and we were looking thru the many requests on the Giving Tree, for the families that are not able to get Christmas gifts. The gifts ranged from long underwear for an 80 year old man to a hot potato game for an 8 year old. Some asked for necessities like gift cards to grocery stores and others asked for something they wanted like the request for a new watch. It really was overwhelming to look thru the 100s of requests and think that we can only
afford to help one or two people out. Plus, so many people were just walking by, and who knows their story, perhaps they are doing all they can, or have already donated elsewhere. But as my 3 friends and I searched the mall up and down for a beautiful maternity outfit for Shondra, the 21 year old mother-to-be that we have never met, but that I haven't stopped praying for since, I was overcome by the sense that that wasn't enough.

I wonder if Shondra will receive her gift this holiday and count that as the BIG surprise that gives her hope. Or again, perhaps it is in the little God surprises that she will find hope. To see God working thru WyldLife and Young Life and to know that this is not our home, that too could be hope. Maybe a BIG surprise is too much to ask, and that is okay, but I also think about how big God is... What amazing things he is capable of... Perhaps one of those BIG surprises will come my way.